i never laid claim to the whole of you

i never laid claim to the whole of you
only to the part that bore
the promise
of a golden man.

through all the days,
my thoughts of you
i filled
with the promise and the dream.
i closed my eyes to what is you.
i closed my eyes to what is real.

and she
with the dimpled charm,
does she lay claim
to any tiny part of you
which does exist,
which i can never know?

then
to her, i must
in honor
give you up.

for after all,
was there ever a golden man?

_________

20.5.66

11.20 p.m.